Throughout the years I have struggled with self-harm and suicidal tendencies in various forms. I found numerous ways to punish myself. When I began therapy it became worse and more evident. Facing my fears, facing my hurts, facing the reality of my life was scary. I only knew one way of coping and that was through pain. As my counselors worked with me on how to cope with my pain in a more positive way I was introduced to the idea of writing a letter to myself.
I wrote this letter on bright hot pink paper and stuck it to the mirror in my bedroom. When I was in a good mood I wrote about why I should not hurt myself and who I should talk to instead. This letter has been there for over 2 years. I read it every now and then but not too often. Just the look of the bright colored paper would catch my attention and reminded me what I needed to do instead of hurting myself. At one point, I made it to nine months but then I slipped into my old ways of coping. I am now celebrating one year of sobriety in this area!! I walked by my mirror today and noticed the letter was still there. I took it down to read it just as a reminder to myself. I smiled and put it back.
I think I will keep it forever!!